Becki Saltzman has arranged a threesome. It involves you, your clients, and her wacky self, and it takes place in her new book, Arousing the Buy Curious: Real Estate Pillow Talk for Patrons and Professionals (Oomau Media, 2013).

Author Becki Saltzman

While the book is peppered with what some may term naughty language and innuendo, perhaps the more shocking element is that she wrote a book that is aimed at practitioners as well as buyers and sellers. What? Didn’t someone tell her not to give up the secret codes?!

But after reading this compendium cover to cover, I can assure you that you can relax. In fact—once you read the client-focused chapter and the client tips scattered throughout the book—you’ll probably want to buy this for all your (not-so-uptight) buyers and sellers. Not only does Saltzman guide clients on how to pick good agents, but she teaches them a whole lot about how to be good customers as well.

OK, back to the naughty bits. This book is not for those easily offended by language. Still when Saltzman writes, “You might be appalled by some of what you read in this book, but I promise that the ideas my potty mouth spouts are valid,” she lives up to the promise. Indeed, her advice is novel as it is solid, and it spans everything from getting started in real estate, to transaction management (from both sides), to handling crazy market fluctuations with grace.

Arousing the Buy Curious, coming to bookshelves in September, is definitely useful. But it’s also hilarious. There are quite a few laugh-out-loud commentaries that I can’t print here. But here are a few that can sneak by: Continue reading »

Tagged with:
 

In the classic cult comedy Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Sir Arthur and his knights must answer three questions each in order to pass over a bridge. It’s a study in inanity, something those Pythons do wonderfully.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. What… is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What… is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel…
[Galahad is thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh.

Does that sound familiar? How about this:

What… is your name?
What… is your price range?
What… is your favorite reason to pass on a house?

Jeff Shore wants you to move from what to why. In his new book, The 4:2 Formula: Getting Buyers Off the Fence and Into a Home, Shore pleads with readers to stop trying to get to know prospects by asking them how many bedrooms they want. Continue reading »

Tagged with:
 

Ever walked into a private moment during a showing? Been tormented by a seller’s serpent? You’re not alone.

Confessions of an Estate Agent, by Rosalind Russell, is a collection of funny, embarrassing and entirely true stories from real estate professionals across the pond. Originally published in a week-day column in The London Evening Standard, Russell used her eight years of experience publishing the column to curate a hilarious, yet touching volume, illustrated with cartoons by Merrily Harpur.

Because each entry is just a paragraph, this is the perfect little book to throw in a bag for when you’re waiting in line at the post office. It would also serve as a great pick-me-up at the end of a difficult or strange day out in the field. Just knowing that you’re not the only one who’s been put out by a seller’s crazy requests or had their new suit ruined by a flying can of house paint can help ease the blow. And thanks to the subject-specific chapters, you can choose your salve to match the offense.

Of course there are some cultural differences; even the mere title of the book hints that they handle the particulars of a real estate transaction a bit differently in Great Britain. But the same frustrations regarding bureaucracy, unrealistic clients, and showing surprises are common over here too. And sometimes the differences are enlightening, or even encouraging.

Overall, one gets the impression of a dedicated workforce willing to go above and beyond the norm to make buying, selling, renting, and just plain living as easy as possible for their clients. Even when those clients happen to be totally crazy.

Though I loved reading it for the laughs, it also made me a bit nostalgic for our old column, In the Trenches (for those who aren’t acquainted, here’s an example). What do you think: Is this the sort of feature you’d like to read more of? Or do you hear enough of these stories around the office? Let me know in the comment section below.

Buying a house, moving, home improvement… these are all things that can be funny, heartwarming and entertaining. It’s just that when you’re surrounded on all sides by boxes, closing documents and plaster, it’s hard to be coherent, much less endearingly hilarious.

Author Matthew Batt does not have this problem in his debut memoir, Sugarhouse: Turning the Neighborhood Crack House Into Our Home Sweet Home (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2012, $14.95 US). His story of finding, purchasing and fixing the sort-of, maybe-someday perfect house in Salt Lake City with his wife is one of my must-reads for the summer.

Batt travels the roads you’ve seen so many new home owners go down. He manages to tumble through the common roadblocks with a healthy sense of humor and the entertaining vocabulary to back it up. He waxes poetic on the importance of countertops, the meaning behind carpeting, and the sheer weirdness of househunting. Continue reading »

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can
take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...